Your colleague got a promotion, your best friend married the love of her life and your brother cashed in his company stocks to take a year off and travel the world.
Jealousy hits and it’s not a nice feeling. “Why does this never happen to me?” you ask yourself. You feel less content with what you have and frustrated at the pace of your own progress.
I’ve been there and I’ve felt that too.
One sentence has helped me turn jealousy into genuine joy for others: Good for you!
Let’s back track for a minute
Over the years, I heard people say this sentence in English and I never knew whether they were being genuine. You see, in German, the equivalent “Schoen fuer dich” is typically said cynically and means much the opposite: “well, how nice for you but look at the rest of us missing out”. If you are genuinely happy for someone else you’d say exactly that: “I am so happy for you!”
Living in English speaking countries meant I had to learn the language AND all those subtleties too. After a while of hearing “good for you” I decided to start using it myself, but with its true meaning, without any cynicism.
And it worked!
The success of others doesn’t diminish your own
When your colleagues and friends are successful at work and in their private lives, it doesn’t take anything away from you.
If someone earns a big salary, that doesn’t mean you can’t get a pay rise and make more money.
When someone buys a nice car – guess what: there are plenty of cars left at the dealership.
We all need to recognise our scarcity mindset, worrying there won’t be enough good stuff to go around. There is enough good stuff for everyone. You can even create your own.
You feel a lot better when you’re generous with your happiness
When you use “good for you” and you’re genuinely happy/excited/pleased for the other person, something in you changes.
While you’re working on your own projects, nothing stops you from cheering on others as well. They might even reciprocate and become your supporters, too.
I’ve noticed that telling someone “good for you” as an acknowledgement for their accomplishments does something I can feel physically. It’s like I’ve given myself a hug, even though I made a compliment to someone else. I am truly happy for them, because I know that giving this happiness away doesn’t diminish my own.
There are many opportunities to practice this daily
In a world where we’re surrounded by success stories every day on social media, it’s easy to feel jealousy and even envy. I want to encourage you to try this out: every time you feel a twinge of negativity towards someone else’s success, say “good for you” or “good for them” out loud, with conviction.
After a while you’ll notice a change. I am sure of it. Giving to others will make you feel richer and that can turn into success for you as well.
There is enough good in the world for everyone. Be generous and cultivate a mindset of abundance. Your mental health and your professional career will benefit from it.
Have a great week!
Eva
